Acknowledging Another’s Vulnerability Biblically
We all have a desire to either have at least one close friend or group with whom we trust to be able to share what is beneath the surface of our lives. With those whom we have established enough trust that the response of shock and horror will not be present when we step out and reveal what’s really going on, in other words, when we become vulnerable.
The purpose of this blog is to share with you, the reader, friend and/or discipleship leader, not how to become vulnerable in a relationship, but rather how we respond when that someone becomes vulnerable with us. There are four aspects that we will consider that I trust will encourage us as we walk alongside the people God has called us to.
The first aspect we need to consider is how we should not respond. As you read the list, put yourself in the place of that vulnerable person. How would you react if you were in their shoes?
A look of horror: mouth flies wide open and that look of shock and unbelief covers your face.
Try to fix the situation, offering advice without having all the information and details.
Offering opinions about this person’s situation.
Sharing your own life examples which can be offensive as we try to fit our own context into someone else’s suffering.
Sounding judgemental by using statements like the following:
“As a Christian, you know this is unacceptable to God.”
“I know just the right verses to help your situation. If you just read these, everything will be better.”
Saying nothing and moving on as if the person never shared anything with you.
I had a person just share with me recently that she was met with what felt like a judgmental spirit when she confided in her Bible Study group struggles with which she was dealing. When she left the group her thought was, “I will never share openly like that again.” We do not want that vulnerable person leaving our presence thinking the exact same thing.
The second aspect for our consideration is to meditate on how Christ responded to the vulnerability of others. In John 4:1-30 Jesus is ministering to “the woman at the well”. Take a few moments to read her story and observe how Christ responded to her.
Jesus went through Samaria to purposely minister to this woman.
This woman was drawing water when no one was there. She was an outcast in her city.
He met her where she was to take her where she needed to go.
Every step of the way He shared truth with her without judging her or berating her in any way.
The woman only shared a little bit of her story with Him…it was the truth but not the whole truth.
He acknowledged her bit of truth but also exposed what she had not shared, doing so in a gentle way.
As Jesus shared with her that He was indeed the Messiah, her eyes were opened to the truth and she was changed.
Do you see how gently Christ dealt with this woman? He was kind and non- judgemental as he ministered to her. Again, He met her where she was to take her where she needed to go.
In John 8:1-11 Jesus beautifully illustrates for us His tender care for the woman caught in adultery. Jesus clearly admonishes those of us who are quick to judge with these piercing words, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” Jesus did not condemn her but rather commanded her to sin no more in light of His forgiveness of the sin in her life.
The third aspect I want us to consider are the verses that speak to how I should treat everyone, but especially those who have decided to share their innermost struggles or past sins in their lives.
Philippians 2:3-4
Our interactions with others should always be with humility, never from selfishness or seeking our own agenda.
Consider others more important than myself.
Have the same concern for others interests as I do for mine.
Galatians 6:2
To carry, uphold, support or to put upon one’s self a person’s heaviness, weight, or trouble.
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind - opposite of harsh, hard, sharp or bitter.
Be tenderhearted - compassionate, sympathetic.
Forgiving - don’t hold their struggles or sin against them.
Colossians 3:12-14
We are to put on:
Compassionate hearts
Kindness
Humility
Meekness
Patience
The capacity to bear with one another
Forgiveness
Love
You may be asking, “What should I say, then?” Let’s take a look at some possible opening phrases or thoughts that might just help us begin to acknowledge that person’s vulnerability as we conclude with our fourth aspect.
“Thank you for trusting me with this. It means a lot to me.”
“I’m sorry you have to go through something so painful.”
“It sounds like you are extremely hurt and disappointed.”
Acknowledge their courage in being vulnerable.
Share your appreciation that they chose to confide in you.
Assure them that what they have shared will be kept confidential.
Let them know that you care.
LISTEN INTENTLY
God has called us to radical love as we minister to the vulnerability of others. Above all else, God wants us to extend grace pointing them to our ultimate grace giver.